Over the last week I had the privilege of attending a workshop geared towards equipping youth workers with the skills of becoming reflective youth workers. It was a workshop focused on the building of skills for youth workers. I had my hesitations at first and figured that it would be a four day lecture with ample amounts of note taking but I was in for a total surprise. The sessions were not only interactive but also informative, engaging and refreshing. Having the group arranged in a circular fashion allowed everyone to see their associates quite easily and took away the “back seat” mentality that prevails in our culture. The presenter was by no means short of energy, insight, tact, zeal and down right brilliant. Having been an ardent political activist and a dedicated HIV/AIDS awareness worker Bonita Harris had what it took to make a room and our group come alive. Those present represented a diverse cross section of individuals involved in youth work in Antigua & Barbuda. The presence of such personal and professional experience made for a very enlightening and informative session.
From day one our presenter made it clear that dialogue was one of the most important aspects of youth work. Engaging the youth and allowing them the opportunity to express themselves without fear of judging or bias. Creating an enabling environment was also a major component under which working with individuals on a whole was recommended. Effective planning on the part of the youth worker was not only necessary but crucial. Planning therefore had to allow individuals to review the past, be fully present in the present and able to anticipate the future. As such we proceeded as planned.
During the course of the four days participants were asked to confront their values, priorities, and interests, which allowed me to evaluate the things that I supposedly value. It was an opportunity to shed light on the things that we don’t confront on a daily basis and to question our real motives behind our actions and the things we hold dare. By day three we were expressing feelings and emotions that had been stored up on the inside for decades. The fact that the workshop was geared towards youth made it easy to see the connection between unaddressed issues from my past and the affect it has had on my life presently. It gave a sense of understanding of the host of issues that could be facing not only youth on a national scale but those in our homes and in our very own backyard.
The daily reflections allowed us to express our thoughts and feelings on the previous day’s sessions as well as to report feedback from conversations participants would have had with spouses, family, friends etc. Exploring the Johari window and J Samuel Bois’ seven shaper model of the self revealed further that we are complex individuals. For example Bois’ model takes into consideration biology, feelings, thought patterns, self-moving forces all within the framework of the environment and influenced by the past and future. May sound like a mouthful but if you ever tried exposing yourself to someone (in an emotional way) you may begin to see how complex it is to show/tell people who we really are. The Johari window on the other hand points to four selves; the open self, the hidden self, the blind self, and the unknown self. Needless to say that these models are just the tip of the iceberg in self revelation and allowed for much discussion.
At the end of it all the experience was nothing short of bringing greater focus to the work needed to be done with the youth of our country. The fact that individuals are not only born into a society but nurtured and influenced by the various institutions within our communities. The family may be the point of origin but it is not the only point of contact to the outside world. Personally I have blamed the various institutions and individuals for the short comings of the youth but doing such does not negate my responsibilities as an individual.
It is all well and good to cast the blame on the politicians, principals, teachers, pastors, churches etc. But what about me, what about you? What are we doing to raise the bar for our youth. One point that stuck with me is that learning is not just learning things but learning the meaning of things. Learning should lead to changes. If there is no change, there has been no learning ( Dewey).
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
We Are Driven - Episode 3 - Dentercia Blanchette
Maya Angelou and Tony Morrison are two of the first names that come to my mind when thinking of this week’s inductee into the Driven Hall of Fame. Her writing style is unique, eclectic and simply refreshing. Her sense of purpose in the world is remarkably astute to say the least. Her passion for writing and self expression is limited only by the words she chooses to use. Her knack for all things literary and beautiful is simply marvellous. The last time one person had this much energy they invented electricity (shameless attempt at humour, please laugh).
As we proceed, we catch up with the active twenty one year old native of St. Kitts and peel back a layer or two to find an individual driven to excellence and beyond. Coming from a nuclear family Dentrecia had a great platform from which to develop into a well rounded, articulate and confident woman. Add four cats to the mix and you have an animal lover with motherly instincts. Educationally she has run the gauntlet of secondary school and university with flying colours a BA in English and a Marketing certificate with plans in the pipeline for a Masters Degree.
Presently she is ably employed in the field of Media and Communication as a Public Relations and Marketing Officer where she is the senior, junior, PR and Marketing Officer all rolled into one. With such an amazing workload it appears as though she’ll be CEO in a matter of years.
The first thing she does every morning without being prompted is to have private devotions “I always have women devotionals close to me and I go to the bible app on my BB and cover myself in scripture. My morning prayers are my longest, I tell god of my fears and tasks for the day and of my dreams. It’s pretty cool.”
Our driven inductee has a major crush on recording artist B.O.B. and was quoted saying “I feel like his lyrics are his conversations with me just for me about his life”. She also favours Israel Nu Breed and Mali Music (gospel). In terms of books she’s currently reading the name Jodi Picolt sprang to life claiming that she knows how to work a plot with her electrifying page turners. Lorene Cary brings her inspiration as she had a chance to meet her in person and has fallen in love with her electrifying personality.
Her favourite place to be is undoubtedly the park where she can become engrossed in her thoughts for hours on end with a serene feeling of contemptment and solitude. Away from home she finds calm in the beautiful shores of Martinique.
I posed the question “Something that made you see things in a different light?” to which she answered; Sigma Tau Delta Convention 2011 in Pittsburgh. “It reminded me of my purpose to write beautiful words that have the power to heal. Upon coming back home, I had plans to do this and that and then I got a job and soon found out that some things had to be sacrificed. I sacrificed my writings. Everyone would say when last have you written. I would lie and say a date but I couldn’t find anytime to write. At the convention I was so inspired to write that one night in my hotel room I cried my pretty eyes out just out of anger with myself for not treating my art with as much dedication as I should have. Ever since I’ve been back home I’ve been putting stuff in place to write and promote literacy and I dedicate an hour to just writing. I’m finding the time! “Sometimes we need a wake up call to recommit ourselves to our art”. “It is so easy to lose your focus when you are not in an environment that promotes it!” I’m glad I got a wake up call before the age of 30 when I’d be old.”
Our poet/writer/Public Relations Officer/ cat lover/ sister/ daughter/friend finds motivation in the words of the song "hold your dreams" by Naturi Noughton from the movie Fame. I listen to that song and feel POWERFUL! Secretly she has three reasons why she does what she does which reminds her of her goals and despite the difficulty she pushes through to make sure that she remains true to her reasons for doing what she does (we’d sure like to hear what these are).
Getting to the crux of the matter and eager to find out what drives this young woman to live purpose driven life we stumbled upon this:
“If you could put your finger on the one thing that keeps driving you toward being the best person you can be what would you say it is?
“Reaching heaven. That is the ultimate of all ultimate’s. Every day I realize just how far I am from the mark of being a true Christian but that goal ‘to reach to heaven’ is engrained in my head and it motivates me to be a better person each day. So each day I work at being a better Dentrecia, for I know that He that is within me will someday bring me to that better Dentrecia”.
I inquired as to what her take was on the state of affairs in the Caribbean in relation to the way we embrace the arts and mediums of expression and Dentrecia held no punches by saying
“Art is life”. This concept she claims is being slowly embraced by our Caribbean communities. Long before, there was a chasm between art and the other activities of life it was considered a hobby, not something that was to be taken seriously. However she believes that these days that notion is changing. “We are now seeing various communities cultivating the artistic talents of its people to transform lives, unite people and enrich the community”. She highlighted that in St. Kitts, there is an amazing group of young writers and spoken word artists transforming the nation by force as well as young people in Trinidad where they are using art to heal societies. “I think the thriving of these different organisms showcase the power that art is having on our people. Expressing ourselves in whatever way appropriate is the core of art forms and for that reason, we will have more Olive Senior’s, Marshal Montano’s, and Romeo Downer’s--- our people will never give up voicing our experiences and struggles.”
So there you have it folks an artist not afraid to get lost in music, words, thoughts, and everything that brings inspiration from on high and here on earth. Not a wandering soul but one destined for the heavens. A creator of stories untold, and a moulder of passions felt. A gardener of thoughts and dreams and a reaper of happiness and joy. It is with her own words we end this week’s segment:
“I get the greatest joy out of life when I eat Planters trail mix, nuts and chocolate and see my pieces quoted or published!”
“When I become president the first thing I’m going to do is make college education free! Why price education when it’s priceless!”
“Five years from now I will be a published author with a publishing house and a regional literary society!”
P.S. her cat currently named Samantha gets her name changes every week, depending on her mood....
As we proceed, we catch up with the active twenty one year old native of St. Kitts and peel back a layer or two to find an individual driven to excellence and beyond. Coming from a nuclear family Dentrecia had a great platform from which to develop into a well rounded, articulate and confident woman. Add four cats to the mix and you have an animal lover with motherly instincts. Educationally she has run the gauntlet of secondary school and university with flying colours a BA in English and a Marketing certificate with plans in the pipeline for a Masters Degree.
Presently she is ably employed in the field of Media and Communication as a Public Relations and Marketing Officer where she is the senior, junior, PR and Marketing Officer all rolled into one. With such an amazing workload it appears as though she’ll be CEO in a matter of years.
The first thing she does every morning without being prompted is to have private devotions “I always have women devotionals close to me and I go to the bible app on my BB and cover myself in scripture. My morning prayers are my longest, I tell god of my fears and tasks for the day and of my dreams. It’s pretty cool.”
Our driven inductee has a major crush on recording artist B.O.B. and was quoted saying “I feel like his lyrics are his conversations with me just for me about his life”. She also favours Israel Nu Breed and Mali Music (gospel). In terms of books she’s currently reading the name Jodi Picolt sprang to life claiming that she knows how to work a plot with her electrifying page turners. Lorene Cary brings her inspiration as she had a chance to meet her in person and has fallen in love with her electrifying personality.
Her favourite place to be is undoubtedly the park where she can become engrossed in her thoughts for hours on end with a serene feeling of contemptment and solitude. Away from home she finds calm in the beautiful shores of Martinique.
I posed the question “Something that made you see things in a different light?” to which she answered; Sigma Tau Delta Convention 2011 in Pittsburgh. “It reminded me of my purpose to write beautiful words that have the power to heal. Upon coming back home, I had plans to do this and that and then I got a job and soon found out that some things had to be sacrificed. I sacrificed my writings. Everyone would say when last have you written. I would lie and say a date but I couldn’t find anytime to write. At the convention I was so inspired to write that one night in my hotel room I cried my pretty eyes out just out of anger with myself for not treating my art with as much dedication as I should have. Ever since I’ve been back home I’ve been putting stuff in place to write and promote literacy and I dedicate an hour to just writing. I’m finding the time! “Sometimes we need a wake up call to recommit ourselves to our art”. “It is so easy to lose your focus when you are not in an environment that promotes it!” I’m glad I got a wake up call before the age of 30 when I’d be old.”
Our poet/writer/Public Relations Officer/ cat lover/ sister/ daughter/friend finds motivation in the words of the song "hold your dreams" by Naturi Noughton from the movie Fame. I listen to that song and feel POWERFUL! Secretly she has three reasons why she does what she does which reminds her of her goals and despite the difficulty she pushes through to make sure that she remains true to her reasons for doing what she does (we’d sure like to hear what these are).
Getting to the crux of the matter and eager to find out what drives this young woman to live purpose driven life we stumbled upon this:
“If you could put your finger on the one thing that keeps driving you toward being the best person you can be what would you say it is?
“Reaching heaven. That is the ultimate of all ultimate’s. Every day I realize just how far I am from the mark of being a true Christian but that goal ‘to reach to heaven’ is engrained in my head and it motivates me to be a better person each day. So each day I work at being a better Dentrecia, for I know that He that is within me will someday bring me to that better Dentrecia”.
I inquired as to what her take was on the state of affairs in the Caribbean in relation to the way we embrace the arts and mediums of expression and Dentrecia held no punches by saying
“Art is life”. This concept she claims is being slowly embraced by our Caribbean communities. Long before, there was a chasm between art and the other activities of life it was considered a hobby, not something that was to be taken seriously. However she believes that these days that notion is changing. “We are now seeing various communities cultivating the artistic talents of its people to transform lives, unite people and enrich the community”. She highlighted that in St. Kitts, there is an amazing group of young writers and spoken word artists transforming the nation by force as well as young people in Trinidad where they are using art to heal societies. “I think the thriving of these different organisms showcase the power that art is having on our people. Expressing ourselves in whatever way appropriate is the core of art forms and for that reason, we will have more Olive Senior’s, Marshal Montano’s, and Romeo Downer’s--- our people will never give up voicing our experiences and struggles.”
So there you have it folks an artist not afraid to get lost in music, words, thoughts, and everything that brings inspiration from on high and here on earth. Not a wandering soul but one destined for the heavens. A creator of stories untold, and a moulder of passions felt. A gardener of thoughts and dreams and a reaper of happiness and joy. It is with her own words we end this week’s segment:
“I get the greatest joy out of life when I eat Planters trail mix, nuts and chocolate and see my pieces quoted or published!”
“When I become president the first thing I’m going to do is make college education free! Why price education when it’s priceless!”
“Five years from now I will be a published author with a publishing house and a regional literary society!”
P.S. her cat currently named Samantha gets her name changes every week, depending on her mood....
Friday, March 25, 2011
We Are Driven
So in fantastic Friday fashion the We Are Driven series continues this week with the spotlight on a young entrepreneur who has his sights set on the stars. Born and raised in Bois D’Orange, Gros Islet in St. Lucia Myron Yarde is proud to call the Helen of the West “Home Sweet Home”. However like many of us our dreams lead us away from home in the pursuit of life, love and liberty. We run into our twenty something year old business pro on his way to greatness and gain an insight into what keeps driving him forward.
Q:Graduating year and area of degree:
A:B.S. Business; Education 2009 Andrews University
Q:What was it like as a child growing up in St. Lucia?
A:Fun. A lot of good times; Saint Lucian people love to have fun so there was always something happening. The beach, liming with friends or just being out…….. But also it wasn’t always 100%, so if you didn’t learn to work with what was available or make more available you wouldn’t be happy.
Q:At what age did you realize that you had the innate desire to do great things and what have you done to feed this ambition?
A:It was not a specific age; I always loved to read…. as long as I can remember… I would read whatever I put my hands on. The books I read made me see things from other perspectives; I was then able to create my own reality in my head and work towards it.Eventually I developed this audacity where I believed that anyone can help me achieve my goals if I asked the right way at the right time. I feed it by reading and setting impossible goals.
Q:People you look to for advice and guidance:
A:I don’t usually ask for advice but I would pitch ideas to my close friends and let them find holes or weaknesses in them. I use their criticism to build up my ideas; my parents usually give me advice whether I ask or not but I never listen.
Q:The idea/concept behind Caribonix?
A:(Smiles) It’s quite a story. It started with an application that I was working on with my business partner Conlan King while in university. We were trying to create a platform to help Caribbean companies make regional and international business easier. It was just an idea that we had big plans for to connect the Caribbean to the rest of the world. My roommate and a mutual friend of ours Oudin Samuel at the same time had this idea to start his web design business Caribonix because of his love for design and ICT. We figured that working together would allow us to do more with our talent and love for what we do. Conlan is the Innovation King and Oudin is the Smart Guy who knows how to run the projects well, I just fit right in with my love for marketing, ideas and people. We used the Caribonix name because it fit perfect; since then, we have been using our business to create innovative on and offline business solutions with websites, internet programs/applications and internet and b2b marketing (business to business marketing). The synergy is amazing and the rewards are great.. our vision is to create a new Caribbean by introducing to our clients, employees and community to a standard of excellence..
Q:Future hopes/aspirations/goals/business ventures?
A:In the future I hope to be more involved in education in the Caribbean possibly partnering with schools for research; a change agent. I believe that if we can conduct more research for application rather than information we can have a new Caribbean in this generation.
The present goal is and will continue to be: to grow Caribonix to be a leader for innovation and a model to follow for startups and existing businesses.
Q:If you had to outline a diet for “greatness” what elements/character traits would it comprise
of and why?
A:The diet that I use;
- be a slave: for every hour you spend sleeping or hanging out… spend two or more
working
towards your goal and learning. Why? You will become consistent by habit
- be fearless, Why? being fearless allows you to worry less so you live with less
stress.
- Give people more than they expect. Why? You will stand out among thousands; that helps
- Always expose yourself to varied perspectives. Why? It gives you a better view of life and
helps you to relate to people better.
Q: A few great things about being an entrepreneur:
A:It is a great feeling that you wake up every morning to slave to build something that you will
always be a part of. It’s rewarding; if we work hard enough we will sometimes reach our limit;
an employee has an option to quit at that point or keep going…. An entrepreneur just keeps
going.. no need to think.
Q:Your views on the state of affairs in relation to small businesses in the Caribbean.
There are many small businesses with great potential; some of us are not operating at 50% of
our true potential. Entrepreneurs have the capability to revive the economy and establish the
Caribbean in a greater way if we can come together
Q:One thing all entrepreneurs should know from the start:
A:Keep your goal in mind especially when having a hard time.
Q:One word that has motivated you from day one:
A:FREEDOM
Q:The best part of having dreams and working to achieve them:
A:I don’t know….The harder you work the better you become at what you do?
Q:A few years from now I hope to be........
A: The best at what I do.
Beyond the shadow of any doubtful minds Myron has his sights on being something rather than nothing. His commitment to being a slave to his dreams may sound hash but in reality that is the only way to guarantee greatness. I can recall in Michael Gladwell’s book Outlier mentions the concept of 10,000 hours saying that it is a bench mark to measure how knowledgeable and successful an individual is in his/her particular field. It’s safe to say that Myron has started his journey of a thousand hours and will make the world a better place once he does.
As we head out to the weekend I leave you with the words of Colin Powell “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier”.
Be inspired, be great.
Be sure to check out the Caribonix facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/Caribonix
Q:Graduating year and area of degree:
A:B.S. Business; Education 2009 Andrews University
Q:What was it like as a child growing up in St. Lucia?
A:Fun. A lot of good times; Saint Lucian people love to have fun so there was always something happening. The beach, liming with friends or just being out…….. But also it wasn’t always 100%, so if you didn’t learn to work with what was available or make more available you wouldn’t be happy.
Q:At what age did you realize that you had the innate desire to do great things and what have you done to feed this ambition?
A:It was not a specific age; I always loved to read…. as long as I can remember… I would read whatever I put my hands on. The books I read made me see things from other perspectives; I was then able to create my own reality in my head and work towards it.Eventually I developed this audacity where I believed that anyone can help me achieve my goals if I asked the right way at the right time. I feed it by reading and setting impossible goals.
Q:People you look to for advice and guidance:
A:I don’t usually ask for advice but I would pitch ideas to my close friends and let them find holes or weaknesses in them. I use their criticism to build up my ideas; my parents usually give me advice whether I ask or not but I never listen.
Q:The idea/concept behind Caribonix?
A:(Smiles) It’s quite a story. It started with an application that I was working on with my business partner Conlan King while in university. We were trying to create a platform to help Caribbean companies make regional and international business easier. It was just an idea that we had big plans for to connect the Caribbean to the rest of the world. My roommate and a mutual friend of ours Oudin Samuel at the same time had this idea to start his web design business Caribonix because of his love for design and ICT. We figured that working together would allow us to do more with our talent and love for what we do. Conlan is the Innovation King and Oudin is the Smart Guy who knows how to run the projects well, I just fit right in with my love for marketing, ideas and people. We used the Caribonix name because it fit perfect; since then, we have been using our business to create innovative on and offline business solutions with websites, internet programs/applications and internet and b2b marketing (business to business marketing). The synergy is amazing and the rewards are great.. our vision is to create a new Caribbean by introducing to our clients, employees and community to a standard of excellence..
Q:Future hopes/aspirations/goals/business ventures?
A:In the future I hope to be more involved in education in the Caribbean possibly partnering with schools for research; a change agent. I believe that if we can conduct more research for application rather than information we can have a new Caribbean in this generation.
The present goal is and will continue to be: to grow Caribonix to be a leader for innovation and a model to follow for startups and existing businesses.
Q:If you had to outline a diet for “greatness” what elements/character traits would it comprise
of and why?
A:The diet that I use;
- be a slave: for every hour you spend sleeping or hanging out… spend two or more
working
towards your goal and learning. Why? You will become consistent by habit
- be fearless, Why? being fearless allows you to worry less so you live with less
stress.
- Give people more than they expect. Why? You will stand out among thousands; that helps
- Always expose yourself to varied perspectives. Why? It gives you a better view of life and
helps you to relate to people better.
Q: A few great things about being an entrepreneur:
A:It is a great feeling that you wake up every morning to slave to build something that you will
always be a part of. It’s rewarding; if we work hard enough we will sometimes reach our limit;
an employee has an option to quit at that point or keep going…. An entrepreneur just keeps
going.. no need to think.
Q:Your views on the state of affairs in relation to small businesses in the Caribbean.
There are many small businesses with great potential; some of us are not operating at 50% of
our true potential. Entrepreneurs have the capability to revive the economy and establish the
Caribbean in a greater way if we can come together
Q:One thing all entrepreneurs should know from the start:
A:Keep your goal in mind especially when having a hard time.
Q:One word that has motivated you from day one:
A:FREEDOM
Q:The best part of having dreams and working to achieve them:
A:I don’t know….The harder you work the better you become at what you do?
Q:A few years from now I hope to be........
A: The best at what I do.
Beyond the shadow of any doubtful minds Myron has his sights on being something rather than nothing. His commitment to being a slave to his dreams may sound hash but in reality that is the only way to guarantee greatness. I can recall in Michael Gladwell’s book Outlier mentions the concept of 10,000 hours saying that it is a bench mark to measure how knowledgeable and successful an individual is in his/her particular field. It’s safe to say that Myron has started his journey of a thousand hours and will make the world a better place once he does.
As we head out to the weekend I leave you with the words of Colin Powell “Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier”.
Be inspired, be great.
Be sure to check out the Caribonix facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/Caribonix
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Driven, motivating women to be their best selves in relationships.
They say good writing good ideas take time to develop but having good friends with great minds means that you’ll get there that much quicker with help and inspiration. A typical Tuesday conversation with my good friend Kae-Toya turned into a terrific idea for a blog post. It seems as if she had been cultivating the idea of men in relationships for a while. Her main premise “men need love too”. My initial reaction was uncertain as I wanted to keep the blog focused about being driven towards educational, financial, and vocational fulfilment. Little did I realize that sometimes the driving force behind these desires may be a spouse/lover/girlfriend/boyfriend etc.
We then decided to collaborate on this spicy topic of love interests from a masculine and a feminine perspective.
So here goes: Driven, motivating women to be their best selves in relationships.
Kae-Toya started off by mentioning that men need love too. As a man I embrace this statement and wish that more women would see us men on the other side of the coin trying desperately to be all things to our better halves. Needless to say that we are at times not catered to as we cater to women’s. As my co-writer so aptly added “women should send a man flowers, rub his feet, cook his favourite meal and buy him boxers just because its Tuesday”. The look of “oh yeah” was plastered helplessly across my face as I though that should any women would do these things for me I would run off the auction block so fast that the ground would shake uncontrollably. She out did herself by adding the special occasion sex for no other reason than its Wednesday and got me to thinking.
Men are by nature predators/hunters we size women up weigh the pros and cons and after all is said and done we charge in head first. Some might be overzealous at the sight of some “chrome skin” while others might be intrigued by the mystery that is her character (raises hand in guilt). Others still might just enjoy the thrill of the chase and the conquest but let’s not dwell on that.
Our focus is on women and how they can be driven to be their best selves in relationships. Allot is expected of men being the patriarchal figure in society. We hunt (work) and gather (get paid) all to our benefit and also to the women in our lives. All we (I) ask in return is for some consideration (and by this I mean pampering) on our behalves. What self respecting man would not enjoy his wife sending him flowers, chocolate and a teddy bear at work for his birthday or valentines or just because. It might appear a bit fruity to the other guys but bet your bottom dollar they will all go home and tell their women what Shawn’s woman/wife did for him and how they too should step up to the plate. In speaking of holidays despite the fact that men only get fathers day and birthdays to feel special everything else is commercialised around getting gifts for women. A fact that they never let us forget. Try coming home empty handed on valentines and see what happens (dog house). Yet very few men receive gifts on this day. If it is indeed a day of love lets share it both ways. And when you do, don’t get him socks or a tie or a watch. Get him some handcuffs, leather jacket, something exciting, maybe motor bike lessons perhaps but make him know that you care about him as much as he cares to buy you another tennis bracelet or diamond earrings.
Now its not a given that women should cook all the time but if you do majority of the cooking it would be nice to see you in the kitchen in heels and a nice dress preparing something sexy like pasta primavera or a chocolate soufflé with a table set for one cause you plan to sit on his lap and feed him dinner/desert wearing nothing but the said heels. Think its too much, ok fine. See how much it is when he loses interests in extra curricular activities because he is all tapped out of ideas and suggestions and you’re on the living room floor with your girlfriends, drinking his wine, questioning his fidelity. Mind you that if he leaves it would be because the other women would have gone the extra mile to entice said man because she knows that he is a good catch and she would have caught you falling asleep at the wheel. Thus the cycle would continue. So why not break the cycle, be motivated towards your mate. Make him/her feel like the first lady/commander in chief. Don’t treat him like the gardener and expect presidential suite service.
It was refreshing to hear this coming from a woman’s perspective but I had to ask myself as to how many women out there have done something spontaneous for their man whether in the bedroom or not (please no hand raising necessary). It might be the masses or it might be a few. Is society to blame by showing images of women always receiving grandiose gifts and exotic treatment while a man gets another tie? Maybe so but buying into television reality is not prescribed. Truth be told most men (I) are willing to jump through hoops of fire in a lions den with a Chinese assassin hurling 8 point stars at us to get the women they want (unintellectuals need not apply) all we ask is that when the rubber hits the road that women make it worth our while. Truth be told as responsible men we expect to put out for dates, movies, late night runs to honey cutter, hitch hiking to come and see you, meeting the family etc. It is our duty to say the least. We need some encouragement though besides the obvious. We need back as much as we put out. There is no use being an alpha male without a she male that is willing not only to fend off all other she males but one who grooms your coat and chips in with the hunting and gathering from time to time.
I would pay to see the man who doesn’t want to have a woman he can not only count on to be there come what may but one who knows he is worthy of her love and effort regardless of time of day or occasion.
The critics will say “what of the men who don’t man up and meet even the basic of expectations”? They are out there. Separating the men from the boys is as hard as separating the women from the girls but it can be done.
Settling for less than what you deserve is deserving what you settle for.
P.S. a little compromise goes a long way.
Written by Kae-Toya Lee-Bramble and Shawn Maile.
We then decided to collaborate on this spicy topic of love interests from a masculine and a feminine perspective.
So here goes: Driven, motivating women to be their best selves in relationships.
Kae-Toya started off by mentioning that men need love too. As a man I embrace this statement and wish that more women would see us men on the other side of the coin trying desperately to be all things to our better halves. Needless to say that we are at times not catered to as we cater to women’s. As my co-writer so aptly added “women should send a man flowers, rub his feet, cook his favourite meal and buy him boxers just because its Tuesday”. The look of “oh yeah” was plastered helplessly across my face as I though that should any women would do these things for me I would run off the auction block so fast that the ground would shake uncontrollably. She out did herself by adding the special occasion sex for no other reason than its Wednesday and got me to thinking.
Men are by nature predators/hunters we size women up weigh the pros and cons and after all is said and done we charge in head first. Some might be overzealous at the sight of some “chrome skin” while others might be intrigued by the mystery that is her character (raises hand in guilt). Others still might just enjoy the thrill of the chase and the conquest but let’s not dwell on that.
Our focus is on women and how they can be driven to be their best selves in relationships. Allot is expected of men being the patriarchal figure in society. We hunt (work) and gather (get paid) all to our benefit and also to the women in our lives. All we (I) ask in return is for some consideration (and by this I mean pampering) on our behalves. What self respecting man would not enjoy his wife sending him flowers, chocolate and a teddy bear at work for his birthday or valentines or just because. It might appear a bit fruity to the other guys but bet your bottom dollar they will all go home and tell their women what Shawn’s woman/wife did for him and how they too should step up to the plate. In speaking of holidays despite the fact that men only get fathers day and birthdays to feel special everything else is commercialised around getting gifts for women. A fact that they never let us forget. Try coming home empty handed on valentines and see what happens (dog house). Yet very few men receive gifts on this day. If it is indeed a day of love lets share it both ways. And when you do, don’t get him socks or a tie or a watch. Get him some handcuffs, leather jacket, something exciting, maybe motor bike lessons perhaps but make him know that you care about him as much as he cares to buy you another tennis bracelet or diamond earrings.
Now its not a given that women should cook all the time but if you do majority of the cooking it would be nice to see you in the kitchen in heels and a nice dress preparing something sexy like pasta primavera or a chocolate soufflé with a table set for one cause you plan to sit on his lap and feed him dinner/desert wearing nothing but the said heels. Think its too much, ok fine. See how much it is when he loses interests in extra curricular activities because he is all tapped out of ideas and suggestions and you’re on the living room floor with your girlfriends, drinking his wine, questioning his fidelity. Mind you that if he leaves it would be because the other women would have gone the extra mile to entice said man because she knows that he is a good catch and she would have caught you falling asleep at the wheel. Thus the cycle would continue. So why not break the cycle, be motivated towards your mate. Make him/her feel like the first lady/commander in chief. Don’t treat him like the gardener and expect presidential suite service.
It was refreshing to hear this coming from a woman’s perspective but I had to ask myself as to how many women out there have done something spontaneous for their man whether in the bedroom or not (please no hand raising necessary). It might be the masses or it might be a few. Is society to blame by showing images of women always receiving grandiose gifts and exotic treatment while a man gets another tie? Maybe so but buying into television reality is not prescribed. Truth be told most men (I) are willing to jump through hoops of fire in a lions den with a Chinese assassin hurling 8 point stars at us to get the women they want (unintellectuals need not apply) all we ask is that when the rubber hits the road that women make it worth our while. Truth be told as responsible men we expect to put out for dates, movies, late night runs to honey cutter, hitch hiking to come and see you, meeting the family etc. It is our duty to say the least. We need some encouragement though besides the obvious. We need back as much as we put out. There is no use being an alpha male without a she male that is willing not only to fend off all other she males but one who grooms your coat and chips in with the hunting and gathering from time to time.
I would pay to see the man who doesn’t want to have a woman he can not only count on to be there come what may but one who knows he is worthy of her love and effort regardless of time of day or occasion.
The critics will say “what of the men who don’t man up and meet even the basic of expectations”? They are out there. Separating the men from the boys is as hard as separating the women from the girls but it can be done.
Settling for less than what you deserve is deserving what you settle for.
P.S. a little compromise goes a long way.
Written by Kae-Toya Lee-Bramble and Shawn Maile.
Friday, March 18, 2011
We are Driven
So there is just something climactic about Fridays but at the same time it brings a certain air of freshness to it as well. When the idea of Driven struck me one of my thoughts was to feature individuals like myself who are motivated beyond words to accomplish their inner most desires. Individuals who have that fire burning deep within and who will not rest until that flame is shining for the entire world to see.
As such today and for more days to follow, I will be featuring individuals who are on the road to greatness.
Lauricia Henry is currently in Taxco Guerrero, Mexico pursuing a first degree in Special Education with the hopes of further attaining a Masters in Educational Psychology and finally a PHD in Education.
Her desire isn't to be rich, but to live comfortably. To possess the things she wants and not having to worry about money is her ambition. A primary and secondary education at the Antigua SDA School has placed this talented spirited young woman in the position that she is in today. Being a fan of English, poetry, science, history, and at times biology has allowed her to see the bigger picture of life and created within her the desire to live outside the status quo. Her passions for self expression lead her to amass a plethora of poems that she hopes to one day share with the world around her. Her inspiration at one point came from the “drama” that is our teenage years. The soul searching, gut wrenching days that lead many of us to the brink of insanity, conformity, rebelliousness and reckless abandonment caused this butterfly in flight to create original pieces that she hopes one day will inspire other youths on that road to freedom..
When asked about the driving force in her life Lauricia had no reservations about crediting this remarkable source as her grandmother. In Lauricia’s own words “In the times I feel like giving up I remember all the things that she's given up and I'm determined to make her proud. Her sacrifices have allowed her children and grandchildren to have the kind of lives we do now. She inspires greatness and so I will be nothing less than GREAT”.
The one word that would describe her life experiences thus far would be extraordinary. “Extraordinary because in my 21 years, I've seen good go to bad and back, felt like giving up and fought through difficulties all in one go. But hey I survived and I wouldn't trade it in for anything”.
When asked if she could give one word to a primary/secondary school student to motivate him or her to reach for the stars, her answer came back as a resounding “YOU”. “I remember going through high school especially and trying to live my life to please every other person. It was like a war and the sad part is I never really won. Don't live your life to please anybody else, live so that YOU are proud of YOU. If you are second guessing something it's probably because it's not really who you are. Sure it's nice to want to make other people proud, but set boundaries. Don't overburden yourself with making others happy, you often lose yourself in the process. Don't be afraid to let others see your talents, you're awesome and you know it, just try to let others see your awesomeness. If somebody didn't like what you had to offer it's ok. There's nothing wrong with you, just do YOU whole heartedly. Try to accept criticism and grow from it, think of it as a way to make you even better than you already are. Just stay true to you!!!!!!!!!”
Lauricia sees school as a stepping stone. She believes that a lot of what you do in school, especially secondary school shapes the person you become in the real world. Like many others, she knows that reaching for the stars is always a sure bet to success. “If you happen to fall short you land on a cloud. A cloud is a good place to land. Always have a back up plan, make choices that will ultimately lead to your bigger goals in life and be sure to make them realistic and work towards them with all you have. Never lose sight of the big picture and have fun along the way. Live your life responsibly making wise decisions, if there are hiccups get up learn from the mistake and move on wisely”.
Like many individuals Lauricia too has a few things she wish she would have done like sharing her poetry with others, writing more, and taking up singing and also dancing. Being concerned with what other people think of her was her main concern but with age comes insight and now she knows to live her life for herself and herself only.
“I've said lots so far and I'd probably like to end by saying read. Read as much as you can, as often as you can. Explore the world through books”. Her favourite and most inspirational book is "Think Big" by Dr. Benjamin Carson. “You might hear the title and think hear we go again one of those speeches, but all I'm going to say is use your imagination, let it run wild. Don't prohibit your thinking capacity by preventing yourself from dreaming. Every good thing starts as a dream. When you dream write them down keep track of them. Think outside the box you've been given, let your creative and intelligent side lead to some greatness. Who's to say that you won't be the next Einstein or George Washington Carver or maybe even the next Dr. Benjamin Carson”."Think Big" "Be Happy"
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you
develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an
exception; it is a prevailing attitude.."
As such today and for more days to follow, I will be featuring individuals who are on the road to greatness.
Lauricia Henry is currently in Taxco Guerrero, Mexico pursuing a first degree in Special Education with the hopes of further attaining a Masters in Educational Psychology and finally a PHD in Education.
Her desire isn't to be rich, but to live comfortably. To possess the things she wants and not having to worry about money is her ambition. A primary and secondary education at the Antigua SDA School has placed this talented spirited young woman in the position that she is in today. Being a fan of English, poetry, science, history, and at times biology has allowed her to see the bigger picture of life and created within her the desire to live outside the status quo. Her passions for self expression lead her to amass a plethora of poems that she hopes to one day share with the world around her. Her inspiration at one point came from the “drama” that is our teenage years. The soul searching, gut wrenching days that lead many of us to the brink of insanity, conformity, rebelliousness and reckless abandonment caused this butterfly in flight to create original pieces that she hopes one day will inspire other youths on that road to freedom..
When asked about the driving force in her life Lauricia had no reservations about crediting this remarkable source as her grandmother. In Lauricia’s own words “In the times I feel like giving up I remember all the things that she's given up and I'm determined to make her proud. Her sacrifices have allowed her children and grandchildren to have the kind of lives we do now. She inspires greatness and so I will be nothing less than GREAT”.
The one word that would describe her life experiences thus far would be extraordinary. “Extraordinary because in my 21 years, I've seen good go to bad and back, felt like giving up and fought through difficulties all in one go. But hey I survived and I wouldn't trade it in for anything”.
When asked if she could give one word to a primary/secondary school student to motivate him or her to reach for the stars, her answer came back as a resounding “YOU”. “I remember going through high school especially and trying to live my life to please every other person. It was like a war and the sad part is I never really won. Don't live your life to please anybody else, live so that YOU are proud of YOU. If you are second guessing something it's probably because it's not really who you are. Sure it's nice to want to make other people proud, but set boundaries. Don't overburden yourself with making others happy, you often lose yourself in the process. Don't be afraid to let others see your talents, you're awesome and you know it, just try to let others see your awesomeness. If somebody didn't like what you had to offer it's ok. There's nothing wrong with you, just do YOU whole heartedly. Try to accept criticism and grow from it, think of it as a way to make you even better than you already are. Just stay true to you!!!!!!!!!”
Lauricia sees school as a stepping stone. She believes that a lot of what you do in school, especially secondary school shapes the person you become in the real world. Like many others, she knows that reaching for the stars is always a sure bet to success. “If you happen to fall short you land on a cloud. A cloud is a good place to land. Always have a back up plan, make choices that will ultimately lead to your bigger goals in life and be sure to make them realistic and work towards them with all you have. Never lose sight of the big picture and have fun along the way. Live your life responsibly making wise decisions, if there are hiccups get up learn from the mistake and move on wisely”.
Like many individuals Lauricia too has a few things she wish she would have done like sharing her poetry with others, writing more, and taking up singing and also dancing. Being concerned with what other people think of her was her main concern but with age comes insight and now she knows to live her life for herself and herself only.
“I've said lots so far and I'd probably like to end by saying read. Read as much as you can, as often as you can. Explore the world through books”. Her favourite and most inspirational book is "Think Big" by Dr. Benjamin Carson. “You might hear the title and think hear we go again one of those speeches, but all I'm going to say is use your imagination, let it run wild. Don't prohibit your thinking capacity by preventing yourself from dreaming. Every good thing starts as a dream. When you dream write them down keep track of them. Think outside the box you've been given, let your creative and intelligent side lead to some greatness. Who's to say that you won't be the next Einstein or George Washington Carver or maybe even the next Dr. Benjamin Carson”."Think Big" "Be Happy"
"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you
develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an
exception; it is a prevailing attitude.."
Monday, March 7, 2011
Prison Break
Sad to say but my university career forced me to side track my full time job of being a TV show analyst (I don’t earn an income from this as yet as my full time job is cutting into it as well) and as such I missed the entire second season of Prison Break. However I have recently acquired this award winning television show and need I say that it is just amazing. Seasons three and four were the icing on my college life and got me through weekends that not even ice cream and cake could cure. What I find intriguing and refreshing is not the cliff hangers or characters or main plot points but rather Michael’s unrelenting optimism, attention to detail, and his ability to see the biggest picture possible. Here is a man that not only studied every detail of the blue prints of a prison but had it tattooed to his body in order to save his brothers life. The blue print here symbolizes to me your way not only to get out of your dead end job (just in case such is the case) or your plan to get a new job or to pursue a degree, love interest, or hobby etc. But that my friend is just the beginning. After the plan is being executed then come the real test. The test being your ability to adjust on the move, to make decisions at the drop of a dime and still seeing the end result despite of the obstacles.
For some reason though Michael meets many roadblocks and bridges along the way he never gives up hope of his final freedom. The plans might change but the destination remains the same regardless of what happens. Needless to say that once you start running your going to have a tough time getting to your final destination. New jobs mean new people, new responsibilities, new work load, new atmosphere. Might be more money at the expense of less family time. Might be new office romance at the expense of old relationships. If your going to school it might be a new country, culture, food, people and language all rolled into one experience. A move away from home may bring a level of freedom that is scarily exciting. The new shoes and new jeans will still excite you despite their minute nature but the larger rewards that you reap from breaking free will forever change your life.
Impossible is a word that was probably invented by someone not physically blind but maybe mentally so. To see the possibility in a thing is wonderful but to attain it, well I’d like to think that it is indescribable to say the least.
What I am getting at is this. We all have our prisons. For some it may be our jobs while for others it may be our relationships, bodies, or minds but to these I say there’s always a way out. The plan may not come together all at once but you might have to give it time to come together. Some times things have a way of just coming together when you least expecting them too or when you didn’t want them too but it’s up to you to see the good in every situation and make it work for you. So by all means do not quit your job today and hope to start a new one by next Monday (unless it’s a sure bet). And unless your business plan is complete and you’ve tested your business on a sample market don’t quit your day job unless you’re very much convinced that it is going to work. If such is the case then by all means carry on.
When it is all said and done we all need to be like the proverbial Michael Scofield and break out of our Fox River’s with the hopes of retiring in Mexico. It is all about the end game, so plan well dig deep and go hard. There is always room at the top.
For some reason though Michael meets many roadblocks and bridges along the way he never gives up hope of his final freedom. The plans might change but the destination remains the same regardless of what happens. Needless to say that once you start running your going to have a tough time getting to your final destination. New jobs mean new people, new responsibilities, new work load, new atmosphere. Might be more money at the expense of less family time. Might be new office romance at the expense of old relationships. If your going to school it might be a new country, culture, food, people and language all rolled into one experience. A move away from home may bring a level of freedom that is scarily exciting. The new shoes and new jeans will still excite you despite their minute nature but the larger rewards that you reap from breaking free will forever change your life.
Impossible is a word that was probably invented by someone not physically blind but maybe mentally so. To see the possibility in a thing is wonderful but to attain it, well I’d like to think that it is indescribable to say the least.
What I am getting at is this. We all have our prisons. For some it may be our jobs while for others it may be our relationships, bodies, or minds but to these I say there’s always a way out. The plan may not come together all at once but you might have to give it time to come together. Some times things have a way of just coming together when you least expecting them too or when you didn’t want them too but it’s up to you to see the good in every situation and make it work for you. So by all means do not quit your job today and hope to start a new one by next Monday (unless it’s a sure bet). And unless your business plan is complete and you’ve tested your business on a sample market don’t quit your day job unless you’re very much convinced that it is going to work. If such is the case then by all means carry on.
When it is all said and done we all need to be like the proverbial Michael Scofield and break out of our Fox River’s with the hopes of retiring in Mexico. It is all about the end game, so plan well dig deep and go hard. There is always room at the top.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Fantastic Friday
There is just something euphoric about Fridays that creates this feeling of invincibility that makes me feel on top of the world. Had it been the end of the month coupled with a pay check, a hot date and a new pair of shoes…..I would be sailing past the folks on cloud nine and smiling all the way to twelve. All that being said, Happy Friday!!!!!
I can just imagine if I was in Trinidad today and how amazing it would be in down town Port of Spain on this Fantastic Friday. The streets are probably lined with music vendors (legal or other wise) blazing the hottest tracks for carnival 2k11. From Michel to Blaxx, Super Jigga, Shall, Destra Fay-Ann, Bunji and of course the Wotless man Kess. The aroma of the honey roasted nuts as you begin your journey up Frederick Street. The watch vendors, shoe sellers, snow cone makers, and taxi men saying “savannah by by two”. The magnificence that is trini girls are lining the streets with their radiating beauty and vivacious curves that tantalize your eyesight and titillate your tastebuds. Their smiles and looks of innocence beauty and seduction all rolled into one are more than enough to elicit looks of pleasure, lust, and excitement from any man. Their sing song voices and sweet words quickens the pace of the alpha males heart who wants nothing more than to engage her in conversation with the hope of finding a way to embrace this goddess divine and get lost in time and ask for one more wineeeeeee……sigh
Everyone is someone this weekend it is not just carnival weekend but it is Trinidad’s carnival weekend. This is the event that put Trinidad on the map, yes they have Lara and Thompson, and oil and a pitch lake but this is the embodiment of the trini spirit. This is their moment in time. This is their golden child. This is their 8th wonder of the world. This is trini carnival. The place where normel men and women become stars amongst stars; this is where inhibition meets reckless abandonment. This is where soca meets the people and transforms them in to beings of pleasure. This is their spot in the solar verse (big up Kae-Toya for that word same way). This is where guys like Jeremey Davis and Ranan Emanuel throw caution to the wind and embrace the alternate realities of life. Where boys become men and men act like boys. Where women get to reveal the results of months on months of early morning jogging and gruelling gym routines and diets or where others just let it all hang out.
None the less the day’s progress and Friday turns to Saturday to Sunday Monday & Tuesday and by time Ash Wednesday rolls around the towns would have been turned upside down. The merriment would have been had, some happy some sad, others wishing nine months from now that the weekend hasn’t produced a lad. But when it’s all said and done and the last song has been sung its back to reality, the mundane commonality.
So to all who will take part in this greatest fete on earth I say be safe and have fun. To all those who won't I can only assume that like me your work has once again found a way to interrupt the amazing event that many of us refer to as life.
P.S. this post was supposed to be work related but after I started writing and realised today is carnival weekend in Trinidad, my fingers just took over.
I can just imagine if I was in Trinidad today and how amazing it would be in down town Port of Spain on this Fantastic Friday. The streets are probably lined with music vendors (legal or other wise) blazing the hottest tracks for carnival 2k11. From Michel to Blaxx, Super Jigga, Shall, Destra Fay-Ann, Bunji and of course the Wotless man Kess. The aroma of the honey roasted nuts as you begin your journey up Frederick Street. The watch vendors, shoe sellers, snow cone makers, and taxi men saying “savannah by by two”. The magnificence that is trini girls are lining the streets with their radiating beauty and vivacious curves that tantalize your eyesight and titillate your tastebuds. Their smiles and looks of innocence beauty and seduction all rolled into one are more than enough to elicit looks of pleasure, lust, and excitement from any man. Their sing song voices and sweet words quickens the pace of the alpha males heart who wants nothing more than to engage her in conversation with the hope of finding a way to embrace this goddess divine and get lost in time and ask for one more wineeeeeee……sigh
Everyone is someone this weekend it is not just carnival weekend but it is Trinidad’s carnival weekend. This is the event that put Trinidad on the map, yes they have Lara and Thompson, and oil and a pitch lake but this is the embodiment of the trini spirit. This is their moment in time. This is their golden child. This is their 8th wonder of the world. This is trini carnival. The place where normel men and women become stars amongst stars; this is where inhibition meets reckless abandonment. This is where soca meets the people and transforms them in to beings of pleasure. This is their spot in the solar verse (big up Kae-Toya for that word same way). This is where guys like Jeremey Davis and Ranan Emanuel throw caution to the wind and embrace the alternate realities of life. Where boys become men and men act like boys. Where women get to reveal the results of months on months of early morning jogging and gruelling gym routines and diets or where others just let it all hang out.
None the less the day’s progress and Friday turns to Saturday to Sunday Monday & Tuesday and by time Ash Wednesday rolls around the towns would have been turned upside down. The merriment would have been had, some happy some sad, others wishing nine months from now that the weekend hasn’t produced a lad. But when it’s all said and done and the last song has been sung its back to reality, the mundane commonality.
So to all who will take part in this greatest fete on earth I say be safe and have fun. To all those who won't I can only assume that like me your work has once again found a way to interrupt the amazing event that many of us refer to as life.
P.S. this post was supposed to be work related but after I started writing and realised today is carnival weekend in Trinidad, my fingers just took over.
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